Planning to Fail
Planning to Fail is PSA of Red vs. Blue that tells the various zombie plans of the Red Team. Ironically enough, they all get a chance to put it to use. Characters Red Team *Sarge *Grif *Simmons Blue Team *Church *Tucker *Caboose *Tex Other *Doc Plot Grif tells Doc that no one (presumably in Red Team) likes him. In his efforts to prove otherwise, Grif asks him for his zombie plan. Grif says that his plan involves him moving to Alaska. Since zombies have no body heat, they will freeze in the cold. Doc still thinks having a zombie plan is quite ridiculous. To prove this incorrect, he calls on Simmons and asks him about his zombie plan. Simmons states that he'll have 2 weeks worth of food in his attic. When Grif asks what happens after the two weeks, Simmons refuses to tell him, for the sake of Grif turning into a zombie and knowing what he is up to. The two compare zombie plans and wish each other luck. Sarge arrives and Doc asks him if he has a "zombie plan". It appears that Sarge has not one, but 37 different zombie plans, 36 of which involve using Grif as bait. The last zombie plan involves Sarge infecting himself just to devour Grif. Doc still convinces everyone of the obscurity of the idea of having a zombie plan. Suddenly, the Blues have act as zombies and head straight towards them. The Reds then proceed with their respective zombie plans. Church tells the Blues to grab the flag and run once the Reds are gone. Transcript Fade in to Grif and Doc on Red Base Grif: Hey Doc, nobody likes you. Doc: What? What're you talking about, everybody likes me. Grif: Yeah everybody hates you. You don't fit in. Doc: Oh? I think I fit in just fine. Grif: Really? Doc: Yes. Grif: Okay, then let me ask you this Doc. What's your zombie plan? Doc: My what? Grif: There's two kinds of people in the world Doc, those who have a plan prepared for when the zombies take over the Earth, and those who don't. We call those last people "dinner." Doc: Nobody does that. Grif: In my zombie plan, I'm going to Alaska, because zombies have no body heat. They'll freeze like corpsicles. It's brilliant. Doc: Nobody else thinks about stuff like that. Grif: Hey Simmons! Simmons: (at the warthog down below) What?! Grif: What's your zombie plan? Simmons: I have two weeks' worth of food stored in my attic. I climb up and pull up the ladder with me. Doc: What!? Grif: And what happens at the end of the two weeks? Simmons: Oh, I'm keeping that to myself. I don't wanna risk you turning in to a zombie and knowing what I'm up to. Doc: Oh come on! Simmons: You still doin' Alaska? Grif: You know it! Simmons: You'll never make it, Grif. The major freeways will be choked with stalled cars from people trying to flee the major population centers. It's gonna be nothin' but a tasty flesh bottleneck. Grif: I'm just gonna have to take that risk. Simmons: Good luck to you Grif. Grif: Good luck to you too, Simmons. Doc: Are you guys brain damaged? Sarge: (appearing on the base) Hey you knuckleheads, what's all the yammerin' about? Doc: Hey Sarge, do you have a, quote, zombie plan, unquote? Hmhm. Sarge: A zombie plan, of course not! Doc: See, I told you- Sarge: I have thirty-seven different zombie plans! Grif: Wow! Now that's preparation. I am seriously impressed, Sarge. Sarge: Don't be, dirtbag. In thirty-six of the thirty-seven plans I use your fresh corpse as bait, so that I can make my initial escape, from the legions of the undead! Grif: Well, at least I know there's one plan where I- Sarge: And in the thirty-seventh plan, I knowingly infect myself with the zombie virus, just so that I can devour you! Doc: Sarge you've gotta be pullin' my leg. Sarge: Why do you think I carry a shotgun with me at all times? You have to be ready to act on a moment's notice! Hyah! Doc: Guys, with all the problems in the world, I can't believe you spend this much time thinking about- The Blues can be heard moaning in the background Doc: What's that? The Blues are revealed walking corpse-like toward the Red Base Sarge: Romero's beard, the Blues have been infected! Simmons: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the attic! Grif: Hello, Juneau! Sarge: Wait, Grif! I need your delicious meat for most of my plans! Hey there Doc, uh, you don't wanna give me a hand with something, do ya? Doc: No. Sarge: Where's your moistest meat? Cut to the approaching Blues, talking amid their own moans and wails Tucker: Hey Church, how long do we keep this up? Church: When they all go in to hiding, grab their flag and run. Caboose: Brian... I want Brian... Tucker: Caboose it's brains, not Brian. Caboose: Oup, sorry, I must have read the script wrong. Moaning... Moaning!... Tex: Shut up you guys! They're gonna hear us. Tucker: Hey Tex, bet it's been a while since you had some fresh meat. Tex: Up yours. Tucker: Bow chicka bow wuuuuuuuuuuuh... Trivia *Most of the zombie plans mirror cultural references of what a zombie infestation would appear to be. *Simmons' "Attic" zombie plan seems identical to the story of Anne Frank, in which she, her family and their friends hid from the Nazis in an attic. Simmons not risking Grif knowing what he is up to mirrors the fact that she was captured because someone told the Nazis where they hid. *Sarge saying "Romero's beard!" upon seeing the "zombified" Blue Team is a reference to famous film director George A. Romero, the director of the 1968 film Night of the Living Dead. *Xbox marketplace offers an RvB Zombie T-shirt for Xbox Avatars.Xbox Marketplace References Video Category:PSAs Category:Episodes